Gifts for Celebrities

Being a Mumbaikar I have a long desire to meet celebrities from sports, bollywood, politics, modeling etc. I do hope that in the coming future I would be definitely able to meet them (since I will become a celebrity by that time :))
So, as a manager or at least a management student I need to start planning for their visits.
The first thought that came to my mind is what gift should I present to all these celebrities?
I did a lot of thinking on this question and came out with the list of gifts for those celebrities:

1. Bipasha Basu, Rakhi Sawant, Mallika Sherawat, Tanushree Datta and of course Salman Khan:

I will buy a bag of clothes for each of them. Poor fellows; don’t have enough clothes to cover their bodies.
I heard some time back that one Adivasi woman felt sad for Rakhi Sawant when she saw her dancing without clothes for her poverty and she felt happy for her condition!!

2. George Fernandez:

I will buy him a white, ironed Kurta. Now that he is no more a defense minister he cant afford to pay the bills for dhobi.
When I see him I always feel that he is just out of the 8:32 Virar Local!!

3. L.K. Advani:

For him, I will purchase biography of Mohd. Ali Jinnah. I think he is doing a phd in that area but unfortunately have got some wrong guide. And because of this he always receives bashings from his companions.

4. Aamir Khan:

I will buy a bottle of Coca-Cola for him. What all things he had to do and what all get ups (including that of a lady) he had to wear to just drink a glass of Coke!!

5. H.D. Devegowda:

I will gift him a "Learn Hindi in 30 days" book. Being from a farmer's family he is not into buying books and had to read out his speech in Hindi written in English.

6. Vivek Oberoi:

I will present him a portrait of Aishwarya. After the break up he has started acting in crappiest films like Pyare Mohan.

7. Sanjay Dutt:

I will give him a (toy) AK-57. He is troubled by that gun not when he was bearing it but after he delivered it to the concerned person.

8. Arjun Singh:

I will get a (non-reserved) seat for him in some old age home. This is the easiest solution for all the controversy surrounding him.

9. M. F. Hussain:

What better gift can I buy than a pair of chappals for this evergreen painter?

10. Vinod Kambli:

I will gift a "How to lose 10 KGs in one month?" book. He is (surprisingly) selected in Mumbai squad. He needs to read this book.

The list is really enormous. Currently, I am in the process of finalizing the gifts for the individual celebrity.
Anyway, I had already done "Celebrity Endorsement" Project in marketing. So accessing celebrities should not be a tough task for me.
And who knows after few years these celebrities might strive hard to plan the meet for a (future) celebrity like me :-)

Page 3 Savvy Indians !!!

3 big incidents happening recently in India have forced me to write Indians as page 3 savvy.

The first was Pramod Mahajan's hospitalization and his unfortunate death. Agreeing to the fact that the incidents was really painful to everyone in his family, BJP & other parties and even to the common man in Mumbai the way media exposed this event was really tragic.
After every hr or two Mahajan's Dr. in Hinduja used to come out and tell the minor details about his health which every newspaper in India in any language used to publish in the front page.
The Doctors who are not even treating Mahajan came on TV camera to tell the details. Every politician from BJP and other parties however small his position may be came on TV and newspapers to tell his experience about Mahajan.
By the end of the 12 days I think many of the citizens knew what happened to his lever and kidney due to its overdose in the news. The saddest part of it was that the entire news channel used this unfortunate event to raise their TRP rating by giving news about Mahajan.

The next was Mahajan's son Rahul Mahajan. I think more than his overdose of the drug was the overdose of the news regarding this event. All newspapers and TV channels who were praising Rahul 2 weeks back for his equanimity in the grave situation of his father's death went against him and published his Jail Stories on the front page.

The last and the worst incident to be reported on the page 1 was Rakhi Sawant's accusation to Daler Mehendi's brother for molesting her in a party where both of them were completely drunk and enjoying their life to the fullest extent.
Rakhi Sawant is known only for her indecent dances in video albums and in stage shows. But again this news was given so much importance and coverage that made me doubt whether in such a big country like India the news channels and newspapers do not get any other more constructive news to show to its viewers.

These are the 3 incidents which have put many questions?

Are we that page 3 savvy people? Because as per the demand supply law the channels and newspapers are showing us what we demand or like.
Do we have only villains in India? Why can’t we see or read the stories of the heroes more frequently? Or whether we don’t like to read them?
Do our news channels seriously lack news that they keep on showing the similar news time and again?

Questions galore!! But I haven’t got any answer.
But one thing is very clear...when page 3 "Stars" start shining on page 1 for all the wrong reasons it's not good for the country and the society as a whole.

Backing The "King of Kolkata"

I am an avid cricket fan and strangely I like to read more about cricket than seeing it. I have read many books and articles written on Indian cricket by authors like Ayaz Memon and Ramachandra Guha.

Few months back there was much written for and against Ganguly. Do India need him for his captaincy (India rarely needed him for his batting off late) ? Or is this the time for him to retire?
These were the questions raised by the media, past test cricketers and cricket fans.

I really don’t care whether he is in or out of the team. But few days back while I was reading about Ganguly's background I came to the conclusion that we are doing injustice to this "King of Kolkata" as he is called only by the biased and selfish Geoffrey Boycott (Sorry guys but I really don’t like this Englishman who can do anything and everything for his self interest and by the way he is still hated by many for the lack of sportsmanship spirit. What I like about him only is his English accent)

Let me briefly tell you about his background:
He has a huge bungalow in Kolkata which has more than 100 rooms. I stay in Mumbai so I really can’t imagine in front of my eyes a house with 100 rooms.
His family consists of 65 members and he has around 38 servants in his house. So in all more than 100 people in one house. Again unimaginable for a poor chap like me who live in nuclear family.
In the corridor in the ground floor of his house he had built a replica of a cricket pitch for his practice.
In all before he came in the Indian squad he was the owner of some 700 crore property.

Now tell me, why a man like him, a Maharaja in true sense, would take so much pain to save a single while he is fielding.
His point is clear. Somebody bowls, somebody hits it....then why should he run after the ball to save a boundary?
We all know that Ganguly scores in boundaries and sixers. While batting also the same attitude creeps in. Owner of 700 crores can’t work so hard to take a mere single and that too when he is at the non-striker end.
I have one suggestion to make to BCCI. It should appeal to International Cricket Council and allow Ganguly to take few of his servants on the ground to do these "menial" tasks.

To be fair with Ganguly, he was one of the very good one day batsmen and could whack any attack on his day. Only problem is "his days" are coming too infrequently now a days.
I like him as a captain. I still feel that he was the best captain India ever had; not just because the statistics show that but mainly because the aggression that he brought in the team.

I can’t end this blog without telling all of u this anecdote:
In the 2003-2004 Australian tour, in the second test at Adelaide when Steve Waugh came to bat in the Australian first innings, Ganguly who was fielding in the sleeps shouted: "Come on boys, now the Australian tail has begun!!"Tell me, which cricketer in this world can call Steve Waugh to be a part of Australian tail. But gutsy Ganguly had that courage and that’s why I like him the most as captain.

Thought of the day!!!

We all know that there are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say, we know there are somethings we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns. The ones we dont know we dont know.
I hope you know what I mean but you may not know if you really know.

A Story of an “unknown” Indian

This is a story of an unknown Indian; a common man, like all of us. If he is unknown why should we bother about his name? For simplicity let’s assume that his name is Devesh.

Devesh was a native of Vadodara, Gujrat. As a child Devesh was always very curious about the terminologies of Religion; Hindu and Muslim. He always used to ask many questions about these to his parents but unfortunately never received any satisfactory answers. There are many Muslim people living in Vadodara. I think that is the reason why he was curious that why his parents always used segregate him from his friend Javed studying in the same standard with him. Why he was not allowed to eat anything from his house? Why his own mother is not wearing Burkha like Javed’s mother?

Days passed. As he grew older his confusion increases while understanding the meaning of a Hindu and Mussalman. With the events like Babri Masjid, Kargil war, Godhra massacre the confusion only aggravates. What he failed to understand that why they say that Muslims are bad and not patriotic and are pro Pakistani. He knew his friend Javed very well. He was a quiet nice guy. In fact no one can understand from a distance that he is a Muslim. In all the cricket matches even those between India and Pakistan Javed has wholeheartedly supported India. So how can he not be patriotic? He never got any answers to these questions.

Devesh always used to feel that he shares a special relationship with Muslims and that in his mind he used to despise his fellow Hindus being so cruel with their Muslim counterparts. There was a Dargah in front of his house; very much old, some 300 years old!!! His cloth shop was in a Muslim dominated area. And above all his closest friend, Javed was a Muslim.

The unfortunate day had come in the city of Vadodara when the municipality demolished the Dargah and the shrine inside it in the road widening drive even after repeated efforts by the Muslim people to avoid this act. That day saw the worst form of communalism in Vadodara. The Hindu and Muslim who used stay peacefully in the city suddenly became worst enemies. There was attack on fellow Hindus in Muslim dominated area and the same was true for the fellow Muslims in Hindu regions.

That day Devesh’s mother, not knowing about the hatred and communalism, called him for lunch at his home. The worker in his shop warned about the worsening situation on the street. But Devesh had full belief that nothing would happen to him and went out of his shop at 1. He reached the market road. He was in the Hindu area now. He was happy that nothing happened to him while he was walking in a muslim dominated area. Suddenly he saw that there was a huge mob standing. Everyone started looking at him all of a sudden. Somebody shouted “Abe, isko pakdo, yeh muslim lag raha hai.” (Hey catch him. I think he is a muslim) Suddenly 4 among them ran and caught him. Their leader asked “Saale, Kutte, muslim hokar yeh ilake mein ghum raha hai? Tu Pakistan bhag ja. Mere jaatwalon ko tum logone maara. Main tereko khallas karunga” (You, dog, why you are roaming around here? Go to Pakistan. Your people have killed my brothers. I will kill you”). Devesh tried to tell them that he is also a fellow Hindu like them. But the mob was berserk. They just knew one thing – anyone coming from the Muslim area is a muslim and must be taught a lesson. Finally the beastly crowd stabbed him and ran away before the police came.

Poor Devesh!!! What was his mistake? Just that he came from a muslim dominated area. Finally, he got killed not from a muslim but by his own religion fellow. I can’t think of what would have happened to his mother? She can never forgive herself for calling him for lunch that afternoon. Whether the killer will get caught and be hanged is of little botheration to that old lady. She has lost her son forever. Devesh’s special relationship with Muslims continued even after his death. His last rites were done by his closest friend Javed.

This is a “predictable” riot story. And until the citizens and the government act out their character the end of this “predictable” story is anything but tragic.

Memoirs of "Aakashwani"

This is a question for anyone who is in the 20s now.
Do you remember any of your mornings in the 80s decade when your age was lesser than 7 or 8? If yes then do you recall a mellifluous tune while you are still at bed at around 7 or 7:30 AM?

My association with Radio starts with this tune when I was just 4 or 5. Sadly I cant describe this tune in this particular blog but surely that tune is still fresh in my mind. It used to come early morning on VividhBharti or Mumbai B station of Aakashwani.

Those years, I would say are the golden years in the Radio era. Only handfuls of people had TV. And those who had TV never had the option of 100 channels to surf. Only single Doordarshan.
There was no IT boom and no one knew anything about internet.

So entertainment media was Radio and I still remember many such programs on Vividhbharti or the local Mumbai B channel. I was fortunate that my grandparents stayed with me which addicted me to Radio along with them. In fact my grandparents used to ask me the time of these programs as I remembered the timetable for many of them.

There was "Sangeet Sarita" - a 15 min classical music program where any of the vocalist orinstrumentalist or percussionist used to come and explain about varied Ragas and Taals in the music. And of course he or she always used to display their profeciency at this art. Legends like Pt. Kumar Gandharv, Pt. Bhimsen Joshi, Ustad Allarakha had come in the program. Fortunately, that program is still there at 7:30 AM on Vividhbharti. So those who have not yet heard of this still can enjoy it.

"Triveni" used to follow SangeetSarita - a fantastic program of semi classical Hindi film music.Then there was "Bhoole Bisre Geet" - a program of all the old filmy songs. A one hour treat for the ears.

Then for yougsters there was a program called "Chitralok" with all new songs but which was never heard in my house.This is because in my family no one used to like any "non" classical stuff.

I used to listen also to the non-musical artistic programs like "Hawamahal" or "Bela ke phool" - programs for amateur dramatists. You need to picturise the situation in front of you in order to enjoy these plays.

In addition to these there were many fantastic Marathi programs all round the day. Prominentely I remember "Geetganga","Indradhanush" and many others.

When I was a kid I had many funny ideas about Radio. "How can a person become so small and get inside the machine to sing a song?" I used to think. Once I tried to dismantle the old radio in our house to see "Inside" to clarify my doubt. (No need to say I got a bashing later but my doubt was resolved!!) Not just that, I had a habit of picturising the face of the presenter. Will he a fat guyor a tall guy, a smiling face or morose face, old or young, I used to guess all these bylistening to their voices.

I had the opportunity to resolve all my doubts when I got a chance to go to Mumbai Radio house on behalf of my school to perform in a group. I still have the recorded cassette of our song on the radio. It was an experience of life. I vividly remember everything in that event but I think that is a topic of a separate blog.

Strangely, I dont recall any of the programs of FM channels enen though there are many of them now. Sadly Radio has become like cable TV....just surf all the 6 or 7 FM channels without listening properly to anything. So you dont explcitly remember any program. My old Radio was not like this and therefore these are the memoirs of Radio when we used to call it "Aakashwani".

Many brilliant music directors, poets, singers, film makers and even play writes till 80s had started their careers in Radio. They used be very much passionate about the work they do. These efforts were seen in the quality of work that used to come out. Now, there is a Radio Jockey continuously running various CDs. Nothing original or exclusive for Radio.

Now-a-days, whenever I get up at 7 I distinctly recall 2 sounds.
First - the horn for the completion of Shift in the cloth mill.
Second - the great Aakashwani Tune
These sounds make me nostalgic. Both the sounds have disappeared now. Cloth mills have stopped functioning long ago and VividhBharti, in an attempt to become modern has stopped playing that tune.

But in this exceedingly "chaotic" world if 2 sounds disappear "Who Cares"?

An afternoon on the banks of Mithi River

Date: 6/3/2006

I never knew that this day will make such an impact in my life that the way I look at life will change forever. It was a perfect start for the day. I woke up at 7. Today I was supposed to accompany Prof Parthasarathy to visit various slum dwellers staying surrounding Mithi River. The project is to rehabilitate the slum dwellers around the river so as to avoid calamity and the flood that happened in the last year in Mumbai.

I was supposed to go to slums in Dharavi region called Pila (Yellow) Bunglow and interact with the people. While I was on the way to the place, we got the glimpses of the river near Kurla. Mithi River is one of the few rivers flowing thru Mumbai. It starts at Vihar Lake and went till BKC (Bandra Kurla Complex). Let me tell you that there are no banks to this Mithi River. On the banks, we see huge encroachment of people and industries. They have thrown so much toxic wastes and sewage in the river that the river is nothing more than a nulla; a BIG Gutter.

A thought came to my mind, that if this river had been in London or Paris it would have become an attraction for the tourist. Poor Mithi River!! Its fate was to take birth in India and that too in Mumbai.

Finally we reached our destination at around 11, a gate in front of Maruti Chawl, Pila Bunglow. I started my interactions with the store keepers, slum ladies, old gentlemen, school going kids. In only few minutes I began to feel that there is something different in these people.

Agreed they are very poor. In one small 12*12 sq feet room around 10 to 15 people live. Their sanitation situation is bad. The water they drink is infectious. The food they eat is staple. There is no road to walk thru the rows of the huts. But in all these odds I was experiencing a certian type of warmth. Every slum dweller, be it a lady or uncle, was giving me warm welcome in their small and compact house. They were giving all the information I demanded without any hassles. Some houses even asked me whether I will have tea.

From the outside the slums are shanty. But from inside each house was very clean and spotless. The way every inch is utilized i thought they should get some award for Maximum utilization of the floor space!! The house has a bed, TV, Cable network, gas, small bathroom, almira and so on. But still all looked so neat and compact. I think, for these slums what you perceive from looking at outside is so much contrasting when you see it from inside.

Before getting inside the slums for the first time in my life I had apprehensions about the way those people will cooperate with me. But now I was totally relaxed. Many ladies who had some idea about the rehabilitation were asking us emotional questions for which there were no answers.

I met a Muslim widow, may be around 60. She was asking me innocently whether I can do something to stop this rehabilitation process. She had obtained that little house after paying around Rs 40000, her lifetime stock of money only a little while ago. She knew no one in this city and her only son had left her alone at this stage of her life.
"Beta, hamein yahan se nikalenge nahi na? Mera yeh duniya mein koi bhi nahi hai. Main teri Ammi jaisi hun. Kucch kar teri Ammi ke liye". Tell me what answer can you give to such questions and how much can you convince them when from the heart you know that you can do practically nothing for them.

I learnt a thing or two from my first visit to a slum. We hear a lot of things about careless mothers, drunkard fathers in a slum. But wherever I visited the parents were concerned about their children's schooling. And almost all the kids are sent to near by municipal schools. This is a very positive sign.
Secondly, I always used to think very bitterly and negatively about these slum dwellers in Mumbai. But when I met them personally I came to know that they face 100 times more issues
than anyone reading this blog. And even then they are highly be disciplined.

In urban India, people are slowly forgetting our sanskriti of "Atithi Devo Bhav" (Treat your guest as God). But it seems that these slum dwellers still remember this teaching. It was clearly evident from the welcome I was getting in almost every house. A shopkeeper even accompanied me till the end of the slums to show me the right direction towards main road.

Finally, we think that the slums and the people residing inside are faceless. I might agree to the fact that no slum has its own face as such but I can assure you that the people dwelling inside are unique and much more interesting to study than the middle class babus. They lead a courageous life in spite of so many uncertainties and problems. Their habits, behavior and thoughts are so unique. Their world, horizons and wishes are so different than what I used to think.

Really, I must say that this was an afternoon to remember for a long long time.